Food glorious food

Today, I decided to go and spend some of my birthday money on stuff I don't need. I got in the car, navigated the diversion on the way to the retail park, got halfway there and decided to just go home instead. So, I came home, did some washing, cooked a vegetable curry, played on the computer and watched a dreadful afternoon film on channel 5. I have no idea what stopped me going shopping, other than the fact I just simply couldn't be bothered. I have weight to lose and when I try clothes on I have one of two things happen, the first is that the sizes are either too big or too small, nothing just FITS. The second is that I buy shoes because nothing fits. I realise I need to do something about this, and I realise it's my own fault that I am fat, but I just can't stop eating. I seriously need to sort it out though because I'm to be a bridesmaid in a few months time and I will NOT fit in the dress. The bride is doing fantastically well, she's managed to lose 4 stones by apparently not doing too much, so it can't be that hard can it?

I'm also feeling odd, I've been off work for a week and I really don't want to go back. I know everyone feels a bit like this from time to time, but the feeling's been getting stronger and stronger as the months go by. I feel like it's all a bit of a waste of time, as though I'm not getting anywhere in my career and I see people doing really well (facebook really makes me feel shitty) and wonder why I'm wasting my time pursuing a path I'm clearly not suited to. I can't go any higher within the company I work for and no one else seems to want to employ me. I also feel as though I'm going round and round in circles, it doesn't excite me the way it used to, and it certainly doesn't pay enough for the hours I work. To add to all that, it's all change at work and I don't feel at home there anymore. I'll stop whinging now....